2 Words That Challenge Us Daily

‘It’s not the years in our life that counts.  It’s the life in our years’.

There are just two words (or one) that challenge both the life in our years and the years in our life… ‘I should’…’- ‘shan’t’, ‘shouldn’t’, ‘should’ve’ etc.

For example, ‘I should’ve got up and gone for a run’ or ‘I shouldn’t have eaten that dessert’ or ‘I should’ve … done so much’, the should’ves list goes on and on… and has the power to make us feel ‘blah’.

Surprisingly what’s most debilitating is not that we didn’t DO it. It’s actually the negative feeling associated with the words ‘I should’…’ when we say them they initiate ‘stress’ both physically and emotionally.

We’ve got to the end of the year and we’re berating ourselves as we ‘should’ve’ reached that ideal weight or we ‘should’ve’ achieved those goals we’ve so keenly wanted - again? It feels Bad! I know the feeling too.

Let’s STOP! No more ‘should’ve’s’ (if there is such a word).   It’s a draining, negative word. Try it now. Quietly say to yourself… ‘I should’ve done xxxx’.  How do you feel when you say it?

Then think, ‘I can’, for example, ‘I can do it later’ or ‘I will do it … Now’. Make the decision, (the choice) and move on.

So if your goals tend not to happen, before casually brushing them off again until next year, understand WHY they didn’t happen.  Take a moment or more and think about what REALLY stopped you from taking action?   There are always reasons e.g. you didn’t get to bed early enough or you’re so busy you didn’t have time or the timing wasn’t right etc.   It’s easy to be sucked into the negativity, what we ‘should’ve’ been doing rather than stepping back for a moment to decisively take the action we really need to take to get us one step closer to realizing our goals and our dreams.

For busy women, especially Mums this is hard to do. But … it can be done.   Here are six steps to get your mind primed:

1. Take responsibility. There is noone else who can do this but ourselves. There is no diet or quick fix that’s ever going to help us. Never has, never will be e.g. something like dieting automatically shifts the responsibility from us taking our ‘diet’ into our own hands to someone else, ‘who knows better’!   However - we know better. No-one else knows our bodies and what they need better than we do.

‘We are the Master of our destiny. The Captain of our soul’.

2. Find Support. Hook up with the right people and community of like-minded souls.   This is important it’s hard to do it on our own. We are community minded, social beings, it’s more fun and it works more effectively when we have support and guidance. It also builds our confidence and self esteem.

3. Re-acquaint ourselves with our desires. What do we truly want to achieve? What is our purpose? To reach our ideal weight?   Own our own business? Make a greater contribution? Is it to be the best parent we can be?   Healthier? Wiser? How do we look when we achieve this, how do we feel, imagine it and let’s remind ourselves of this feeling and look – daily.

4. Take action. When we know our desires, our purpose and what we want to achieve it’s easier to take action. We will KNOW what we need to do to get there. Giving ourselves time and space to see the answers and importantly to take action, one step at a time.

5. Self Care. Look after No. 1. As hard as it is, put yourself first a lot more often.  When we’re happy, those around us are happier too. Good things happen.

6. Love our tummies. If our gut is out of balance e.g. we suffer from leaky gut, food intolerances, bloating, irregular bowel movements etc, it has a direct impact on our moods and how we think. Getting our digestion back into balance gets our minds better primed too.

And think about our kids. What behavior do we want to role model to our children or to our grandchildren? Indecisive, ‘should’ve’ behavior that sabotages achieving our life intentions or decisive, strong, committed, goal oriented behavior that has us delighted with life, brimming with energy and excitement?

Our health and our vitality is in our hands. Only WE can know the right answers for us. Nobody else.

A new year is around the corner, what desires and dreams are you going to make happen?