‘The most confused we ever get is when we try to convince our heads of something our hearts know is a lie’ ~  Karen Moning

With Mother’s Day here there are 3 life-changing lessons I’ve learned as a Mum.   

I wish I’d known them earlier as they’ve made motherhood less stressful, more enriching and empowering.

If you’re a mother, father, grandparent or carer, I hope it helps you too, especially no. 3 – recognising the feminine in our evolutionary blueprint;

The fundamentals

There are fundamental things I’ve learnt (and that are still work in progress) e.g. asking for help, being kinder on myself, being more honest about how I’ve felt, how tiring and relentless parenting is, patience and regarding our children as my greatest teachers and all the rest…   

3 deeper findings

But there are deeper findings that when I discovered them, felt like a big, reassuring hug that made sense and stirred an inner strength that somehow has made motherhood enlightening and strengthening.   

They are;

  1. Honouring matresence.
  2. Understanding Post Natal Depletion and
  3. Recognising the feminine in our evolutionary blueprint.


  1. Honouring matresence.   

If the term matresence is new to you, it’s defined as ‘The transformation of becoming a Mother’. 

Just like adolescence, it takes time for the transition to take place and involves intense hormonal and neurological changes following the birth of a child.

It can take as little as 4 – 6 weeks, often longer e.g. as long as 6 months (if it is honoured/recognised, longer if it is not).  

It’s a window of time that’s completely dedicated to bonding with our babies, feeding, nurturing, replenishing our bodies and honouring our transformation, energising and replenishing us for child rearing and creating a fulfilling transition into motherhood while discovering a new sense of self as we learn to listen to and trust our powerful maternal intuition.  

Traditionally every culture recognised this transformation and honoured a form of matresence.     Keep reading to learn what happens when Matresence goes wrong, it’s likely to sound familiar…

Then to learn more, read my post, ‘…When Matresence goes wrong’ and my video interview with the wise and informed, Dr Oscar Serrallach, Author of ‘The Post Natal Depletion Cure’.  

  1. Understanding post-natal depletion.

Dr Serrallach coined the term ‘postnatal depletion’. He suspects the syndrome affects up to 50% of mothers (I suspect it’s more) and can affect them anywhere from the birth of their child up until the child is 10 years of age.  

Dr Serrallach says, ‘post natal depletion occurs when matresence goes wrong’. 

Sound familiar?

When I first heard this term many years ago, I knew it was exactly what I had experience.  Post natal depletion may present as;

  • an autoimmune condition
  • hormonal imbalance
  • lack of energy
  • extreme tiredness or depression
  • intolerance to stress and so much more… 

I wrote about my own version of postnatal depletion and what it looked like here

There’s a lot I would’ve done differently had I known how depleted I was physically and emotionally after having children.  It’s no wonder many of these conditions ‘flare up’ one – two years after having children.  

  1. Recognising the feminine in our evolutionary blueprint.

There’s a strong ancestral lineage of feminine wisdom throughout our evolution.

I’ve gained an inner strength recognising this intimate connection with the natural world and learning about the divine feminine (energy).  I thought it was a bit woo woo – it’s not.  It may take a mindset shift though…    Understanding this energy is super important for our emotional and physical wellbeing (think nervous system) and therefore, for our families, our communities and our world.

Stay with me…

Suzanne Kingsbury, Author and Business owner, says the divine feminine is an energy that has been with both men and women since ancient times. 

There is both a masculine and feminine energy in everyone and we need both energies to achieve our potential.   To our benefit but also to our detriment, in the past 100+ years, our feminine energy (in both men and women) has mostly been suffocated / ignored.

For those unfamiliar, the divine feminine is not in the sense of male v female but an aspect of each individual that’s associated with creation, intuition, patience, nurturing, right brain, community, sensuality, collaboration and empathy – regardless of gender.  As opposed to the masculine energy that’s associated with things like courage, independence, striving, assertiveness, left brain, logic, control, competition, organisation and more.  

As imagined for the last century or so, women have fostered their masculine energy to earn their place and compete with men. Not only for the right to be educated and remunerated well but for the necessity to support our families, run the home and go to work when men (and women) went off to world wars.   

It’s a patriarchal existence we’ve carried on with, and for many good reasons, however at the time, our parents, grandparents, great grandparents etc. had to ignore and suffocate their feminine energy.   Behaviours we’ve modelled and generally, haven’t thought to question.  But I believe it’s making us sick.

As Mothers, when we have children, this feminine, nurturing, intuitive, energy within us is heightened, it’s instinctual, and it kicks in to help guide us in raising and supporting our families.

I remember having babies and going back to work part-time in my corporate role, (a masculine dominant energy), but feeling a very strong inner turmoil of conflict.   I wanted to be at home nurturing and nourishing my babies but torn by the feelings of needing to continue working long hours and striving to maintain my management position while leaving the responsibility of raising my children to others.   There are many women who have the inner balance and manage this incredibly well and don’t feel this inner turmoil.  However there are many of us who like me, who have this inner conflict, and without us realising it can make us feel depleted, stressed and at odds with being a mother.   Particularly as we have to let go of the masculine qualities that have defined us for so long such as, independence, control and organisation.

Yet if I’d had this knowledge of the different energies and their aspects, I think I would’ve understood WHAT I was feeling so much better and been able to reconcile how I was feeling and actually I wasn’t incapable, I wasn’t being lazy or going crazy!   

I would have understood Matresence, it’s important role and that it’s not forever.  Rather it’s an imperative for raising strong, healthy, happy children.  That my low immunity and hormonal imbalance was actually post natal depletion and that if I had nourished myself better and understood the transformation I was undergoing I would’ve perhaps been less stressed and far kinder on myself i.e. happier and healthier.    

But I underplay what can happen when this energy continues to be suffocated or ignored. 

It is energy and energy needs to move otherwise it ‘stagnates’.  Stagnant energy combined with poor food and lifestyle choices can trigger distress and dis-ease in the body.   I believe it’s no coincidence that it’s so common for women to ‘suddenly’ experience autoimmune conditions, hormonal imbalances, lower energy, digestive issues etc. after childbirth.

Other examples of feminine wisdom in our evolutionary blueprint

A couple of other quick examples of the feminine wisdom within our evolution I find empowering and fascinating;

  1. Mitochondrial eve. Mitochondria are a buzz-word in the health world right now and for good reason.  Simply they are organelles in every cell, responsible for our energy production.  They are fundamental to a well, energetic, being.   However, what’s not so well known is that all mitochondrial DNA during reproduction are inherited from our female side i.e. rather than the DNA coming from both male and female (as in most cellular reproduction), mitochondria are only accepted from female DNA.   Giving rise to the theory of a “Mitochondrial Eve”, a woman from whom all people inherit their mitochondrial DNA from one generation to the next.  I wrote about this more in my e-book, ‘7 simple steps to get-up & Glow’.
  2. Ngarngk.  In our local Nyoongar, Australian native language the sun (giver of life) has the same name for mother, also giver of life – Ngarngk.  Giving more evidence to the strong feminine that is intrinsic in our evolutionary blueprint.  
  3. Mother Nature. And of course there is Mother Nature, also known as Mother Earth – ‘a Greco-Roman personification of nature that focuses on the life giving and nurturing aspects of nature by embodying it, in the form of the mother’ (wikipedia)

The knowledge is there within us, it just takes time, space and wisdom to release it, let it bubble to the surface and guide us to reach our full potential as women, mothers and men.   

What next?

So if, (when) you feel down or overwhelmed or overjoyed in your most important role in the world, you’re struggling with an illness you can’t get to the bottom of (no matter your age), consider the above and our evolutionary blueprint.   Do you need to reconnect to the feminine (or not)?  To learn to hear your intuition and gain an even greater inner strength that will guide you to your full potential?    While at the same time lightening the ‘motherload’, feeling less stressed and rediscovering your true self … 

Simple things we can do to reconnect with the divine feminine (for men and women);

  • Spending more time outdoors, preferably barefoot.
  • Spending quality time chatting with friends and family.
  • Being creative e.g. time for painting, cooking, dancing, gardening or whatever gives us pleasure.
  • Trusting our intuition and taking time to listen.
  • Being kind to ourselves.
  • Stimulating the senses and feeling free to feel more.   When we feel we heal.
  • Tracking our cycle with the moon, (obviously not one for men)!
  • Taking time to notice beauty, flowers, the beach, the warm sun on our skin etc.
  • Being more feminine e.g. wearing makeup, your hair out, a dress or skirt occassionally, feminine colours etc.
  • Introducing natural elements that connect us with mother earth e.g. crystals, wooden furniture, stones and himalayan salt lamps.

In conclusion

There’s no right or wrong, but if it these sentiments feel right, embrace more of those innate feminine qualities and take a moment or two to notice how it makes you feel.  That is where the healing is.

I’ve focused this discussion on Motherhood and my heart goes out to all those women who have suffered loss or for whatever reason won’t be Mothers.  Yet this discussion is still relevant.  There is this same feminine wisdom in all of us (men and women) and it needs to be honoured, with or without children.

This is my personal interpretation only.  There are many resources available to further your own learning, some of my favourites is the work of Dr Kelly Brogan & the book by Dr Rudy Eckhart, ‘The truth of love and fear’.

To transform your wellbeing and your families, from the inside out, simply and naturally contact me  https://www.katebarnes.com.au/contact/ for an initial discussion or let’s start with my popular wellness kickstart program – my 7 day enriched mama program.

Today I rise.

Very simply, they’re not less tolerant.  It may seem they are, however, it’s more likely;

  1. it’s no longer a home made cake after school or dinner.  Generally kids are exposed to WAY more sugar & simple carbs which affect mood, blood sugars etc.
  2. the sugar being used is much sweeter than it was 20 – 30 years ago. Todays highly processed high fructose corn syrup is sweeter than ‘traditional’ sugar originating from sugar cane AND so children have a ‘sweeter’ palate.
  3. the sweet treats often come packaged up with additives, preservatives, colours and flavourings, giving them a shelf life of … FOREVER, which they didn’t used to have nearly as much.
  4. childrens’ digestive systems are impaired e.g. leaky gut, low stomach acid, pathogenic infections (dysbiosis & microbiome imbalance), making them more sensitive to these foods.  If your child suffers from an autoimmune condition, allergy or digestive issues, they will have one of these digestive complaints.
  5. Their desire for sugar is heightened because it’s added to most packaged foods.  So their palate is ‘sweeter’ and if they have microbiome imbalance they can also crave sweetness.
  6. ​​​​​​​The sweeteners used e.g. high fructose corn syrup, white sugar are cheaper to use, so used more liberally to induce purchase and desire BUT are more highly refined and higher in fructose, which is more debilitating to the body, especially for our little ones.

And traditionally our sweet palate would’ve been satisfied with the natural sweetness found in leaves and tubers, a long way from the sweetness we’ve got used to today!

Simply, sugar is not what it used to be when we were growing up. I know it can be difficult for grandparents and others to understand this when they just want to give their grand children a little treat!

So to avoid a sugar overdose try this;

  1. Explain to friends and family members why sugar is not what it used to be.  They may or may not understand, that’s okay.
  2. Trade.  If the kids collect way too many chocolates than you’re comfortable with, try trading for a family experience they’d love, a visit to the toy shop or similar.
  3. Start new Easter traditions e.g. we always bought the kids new winter PJs or try including jokes and fun things in the easter hunt as well as the easter eggs.

Otherwise enjoy the special time to spend with friends and family and when you’re back in a routine, you can get back on track and importantly, focus on strengthening their immunity! My mini ebook, ‘Why kids get sick’ is a perfect place to start.

Download it on my site for free.

To transform your wellbeing and your families, from the inside out, simply and naturally contact me here https://www.katebarnes.com.au/contact/ for an initial discussion on what’s right for you or let’s start with a healthy aging review and assessment.  

Here’s a quick recipe round up of some of my popular meals, snacks and treats for the Easter break.  They’re all gluten free, low in sugar, can be dairy free and most importantly, DELICIOUS.
If you’re wanting to get creative in the kitchen or looking for some quick and easy, yummy healthy recipe ideas, these are for you.   Happy Easter & happy holidays!

Quick and Easy Chocolate Gifts & Treats;

​easy home made chocolate

home made (everything) rocky road

best ever chocolate brownie cake

chocolate pistacchio and prune truffles

chocolate crackles  – An oldie but a goodie!


A Crunchy Granola (great for travelling and if you need a healthy breakfast or snack on the go)!


Slow cooked cinnamon beef cheeks with cauliflower cream


Lemongrass, Garlic & Coconut Fish Curry


A feastive one pan breakfast (perfect for brunch or a lazy morning).

I recently went to a public talk, ‘Bring back the fat’ hosted by Christine Cronau, Nutritionist and Author, who transformed her weight and health on a high fat, low carb diet 18 years ago.

Her presentation shared case studies, benefits and more on adopting a ketogenic diet (high fat, adequate protein, low carb), which I’ll share more on at another time.

It was the speaker after the break, Dr Aseem Malhotrah, a cardiologist, author, researcher and professor of evidence-based medicine that I was curious to hear from.

Dr Aseem is well credentialised.  A Cardiologist, Harley Street Roc Private, The King’s Fund – Trustee,  Academy of Medical Royal Colleges – Choosing Wisely Steering Group, Advisor National Obesity Forum.   He’s written numerous health and academic articles for medical journals and mainstream media on topics related to obesity, heart disease and health policy.  He’s also won a number of awards for his work and was named in the Sunday Times Debrett’s list in 2016 as one of the most influential people in science and medicine in the UK.

His opening slide read;

‘The demonizing of saturated fat and cholesterol and the mass prescription of statins; the biggest mistake in the history of medicine?”

It got my attention.

Here’s a brief overview of what he shared;

On the state of the medical system.  

  • Approximately 10% of published literature is clinically relevant and of high quality – ‘a lot of information helping decisions being made (on improving patient outcomes) is falling far short of what’s needed for good patient outcomes’…   ‘Medicine is not an exact science.  It is an art of probability’.
  • He shared the below diagram saying of the 3 areas feeding into improving patient outcomes, very little time is given to ‘patient values and expectations’ with the majority of evidence coming from the other two areas.  However as noted, in regard to the ‘best available clinical evidence’ only 10% is clinically relevant or of high quality?  Implying it is difficult to improve patient outcomes relying on this model.
  • Dr Aseem proposes a more consultative approach with his patients while at the same time digging deeper into the ‘clinical evidence’.

On predicting heart disease or Coronary Artery Disease (CAD).

  • ‘Cholesterol levels in most cases are ineffective in predicting heart disease’.   The most important factor / risk for heart attacks is insulin resistance.  Fyi insulin resistance is when the cells become resistant to insulin and unable to use it as effectively, leading to high blood sugar.
  • ‘The paradigm (for testing for heart disease) needs to shift from cholesterol (analysis) to sugar and insulin resistance (analysis).”

Other indicators for heart disease testing include a;

  • calcium score
  • fasting glucose
  • stress test
On the effectiveness of statins to manage CAD… 
  • His research showed that statin drugs do not change mortality rates.
  • 1 in 3 people suffer side effects of statins including muscle weakness, erectile dysfunction, type 2 diabetes and memory loss.
  • While side effects may not be felt immediately, they can develop with time and be experienced years later.   The older the patient is, then the more vulnerable they become.
  • When fasting insulin goes down, commonly triglycerides go down.
  • In his view statins should be prescribed when there is cardiovascular risk or heart disease diagnosed, not for high cholesterol alone.
  • While undertaking a healthier lifestyle, side effects of taking statins can be reversed within just two weeks of stopping them.
  • There are no withdrawal symptoms experienced when no longer taking statins.
  • He advised, when patients are given all the evidence, he commonly sees medication reduced.
  • The question was asked, ‘why do statins reduce cholesterol’.  His response was they reduce inflammation.   When inflammation is reduced, cholesterol commonly reduces.

As you’d assume, Dr Aseem is not without critics.

After the publication of an article in the British Medical Journal, ‘Saturated fat is not the major issue’ his findings were questioned by an Oxford University Professor – Sir Rory Collins.  It prompted an independent review, which found Dr Aseems findings valid.  However, the review also found that the Professors University research was financially conflicted due to payments made to his department and to the University.

Concluding comments.

  • His concluding comment, ‘science is not enough.  Opposition of invested interests is what’s needed’.
  • ‘Saturated fat does not clog the arteries.  Coronary heart disease is a chronic inflammatory condition, the risk of which can be effectively reduced from healthy lifestyle interventions e.g. exercise, good food, sleep and stress management’.
  • People are potentially being placed on medication when they are not ill.
  • Taking a pill diverts the more imperative need to take personal responsibility for an individuals’ wellbeing.
  • And this quote by Dr Christiaan Barnard, Cardiac Surgeon and Dr of worlds first heart transplant,‘I’ve saved the lives of 150 people with heart transplantations.  If I had focused on preventive medicine earlier, I would have saved 150 million’

Although why wait to see a Doctor when healthier lifestyle choices can be made today?  

What to do?

  1. Consult with your health practitioner and assess how healthy your lifestyle is.
  2. Take positive action toward a lifestyle that promotes health and wellbeing.   Find a buddy or family member or a coach and do it together.  It’s better together.
  3. Addin great foods for heart health including healthy fats and foods that are in their most natural and whole form.
  4. Reduce or eliminate inflammatory foods e.g. foods that are highly processed and refined.
  5. Sleep well and get to bed early so you make better choices and your body has a chance to rest and repair and manage stress.
  6. Listen to your body and the quiet (or noisy) clues it’s giving you.

If his research has peaked your interest I encourage you to do your own research, ask questions and become informed about this important topic and where the money (funding) trails lead.

To transform your wellbeing and your families, from the inside out, simply and naturally contact me here https://www.katebarnes.com.au/contact/ for an initial discussion on what’s right for you or let’s start with a healthy aging review and assessment.  

References & resources;




Dr Ross Walker https://medium.com/@drrosswalker/statin-use-in-older-people-16a000be0634

Journal, Summer 2017, Nurturing Therapies for Heart Disease

‘saturated fat is not the major issue’, British Medical Journal


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