The Famine in Your Home
"How did it get so late so soon? It's night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flown. How did it get so late so soon?" ~ Dr Seuss
'Famine: An extreme & general scarcity of food'. But the famine in our homes isn't food…
As Dr Seuss alludes to, it's OUR TIME. In Arianna Huffingtons new book, "Thrive" she refers to this legitimate new term, 'time famine'. And isn't that the truth.
As a mum (and for most of us), I reckon the greatest gift anyone can give me this Mothers Day and every day is TIME… (I feel more relaxed just thinking about it). Time is now such a rare commodity or famine, if someone generously offers me their time, I am incredibly grateful.
A few little things that 'Team Barnes' help with around the house that give me time:
- unpacking the dishwasher
- making a meal. Check out DB's (my hubbie) Breakfast Eggs recipe below
- emptying the rubbish bins
- tidying up after ourselves
- time constraints on screen time - for everyone
What I do to re-energise (lower stress), to be more productive and gain Time;
- exercising without 'squeezing it in'
- leisurely reading my book
- lying down on my bed or focusing on my breathe, being still for 5 minutes
- listening to my favourite music. I'm loving Gabrielle Aplin, 'The power of love'.
- a long soak in a bath perfumed with essential oils, doTERRA 'Serenity' is a fave.
- nature i.e. gardening, the beach, bike riding, picnics etc.
- asking for help and knowing it's okay and that I don't have to 'do it all'
- hanging with the kids, checking in at their level. Magic.
- And the BIG ONE… Saying 'Yes' and 'Thank you'. When someone offers us their help, our automatic default is, 'No - I'm fine'. What? Bugger that. How about a resplendent, enthusiastic 'Yes, Thank you'! Try that next time. It might be hard. But do it and see what happens.
- outsource happily (no guilt) i.e. cleaning, babysitting, whatever makes sense for growth and happiness in your family.
It's work in progress, it's like building a muscle, I can do better - but I am so much better than I was.
Why am I going on about this? Times have changed - dramatically. We no longer have the village to help bring up our children or the collective elders instinctively passing on their inherent wisdom, traditions and knowledge. (Or perhaps they are their in our older friends and family and we just don't have time to listen or see them)? Then when we add-in technology that allows us to have access to so much more & create distraction plus the many different other activities we have available - and we are busier than we've ever been. However. we don't have the support, the resources and the infrastructure we traditionally had to support us. But, 'we're fine' … we're soldiering on, we can do it all. Honestly, I believe we can't. As women, we can't actually - do it all.
We MUST confidently tread our own path for living in this busy world, and at the same time be the best role models we can be for our peers, our children and future generations.
And then with that - SIMPLE things I can do for others;
- preparing and delivering a home cooked meal
- being truly present in a conversation. Listening. Not trying to solve problems, but being there supporting and understanding.
- taking an extra minute or so to stop and chat, to be social. Not rushing off to the next activity with NO time to chat
- sending a hand written note
- babysitting or looking after friends kids (Bliss = finding myself with the house to myself. Putting something down and going back 10 minutes later and it's still there)!
- picking up and dropping off kids
- when I'm asked for help, say 'Yes'
Stop. Listen. Imagine. Dream. Re-energise. Quieten our over active mind and remember WHAT really is important and celebrate this one amazing life of ours.
SLOWING DOWN = TIME + SO MUCH MORE!
Mothers Day is the perfect time to remind ourselves to take our time. We are all busy... whether you're a mum, dad, grandparent or a Uni Student. What are you doing every day to replenish your limited supply of time and reduce the famine?
Take your time on Sunday and everyday to totally celebrate being 'just a mum', the incredible wisdom that status offers us by its very nature and then honour that status by taking your pleasure in whatever it may be. There is just one condition, DO NOT feel guilty. Mothers are the mortar, the very glue that knits our communities and our families together with innate, nourishing, maternal wisdom. To do this though, and keep providing the care, nourishment and stability we instinctively offer, we NEED to look after ourselves first and give ourselves … Time, every day.
And if you're a Dad or just a 'bloke', then truly honour your amazing partner for all you've achieved together and in doing that, see what magic happens in your relationship and what the fallout of that energy does across your entire family. Magic will happen. Perhaps you can use Mothers Day as a reminder that all it takes is a bit of your ... TIME.
A TIP: Find a momento or symbol to remind yourself. A rather long time ago I was given a momento from a very special person, a soul mate. We were travelling together and she gave me a momento with the words, 'As you walk through life take time to enjoy the flowers'. I still have it, it sits in my office (see the pic above). I love the sentimentality that it serves as the perfect reminder in my all too busy life.
The irony of this long article isn't lost on me and I sincerely hope it's been time well spent and leaves you feeling inspired.